A tough old day

We left Somerset at 10am and got to Cirencester in good time.  During the drive, Hannah got a text from Gabriel asking if they could drop me off at her house to assist getting the boys ready.  And by the time that was done we were all scurrying off to the church for Rachel's funeral.

Rachel had chosen a black and white striped cardboard coffin and she was waiting for us when we arrived.  I was perfectly alright until I met Philip at the door, fully robed and sending me off to sit with the family up the front.  The large church was packed even 15 minutes before the service started.

He took the service (mainly) and his "sermon" addressed the whole subject of asking why. He said it was not a question of "why" but ... and now I can't remember what he said.  But he faced it absolutely head on and gave a solid argument and strong deliverance of his beliefs.

Has that sufficiently given the impression I want it to? He never faltered. I meanwhile kept my head down so that he couldn't see my (by then) red blotchy face, nose and eyes.  

And then Will spoke without hesitation about Rachel - how she would not be pleased if he spoke too long or was inconcise.  He did extremely well and my respect for him is even stronger as a result.

Rachel remained with us during the tea and cakes after the service and left only after the last person was gone.  It was completely "her show" from the hymns we sang to the clotted cream and jam scones and four different cakes.

I'm blowed if I know how any of them maintained their self control throughout.  I did all the tears and snivelling for all of them.  Certainly I blame my brothers faultless strength of character and clear pride and love for his daughter for a lot of my response!  

The cremation is tomorrow.  I'm relieved to say that no-one but Will and Philip will attend.  I shall, instead, be walking up that blooming 1 mile mountain (yep, the slope) with Gabriel and Anne.  Rachel would not be pleased if I gave up now.  The 2 sizes smaller coat allowed me to raise my arms for hugs and greetings so I'm hoping that might mean I may have lost a little bit more over the past week.  And from the number of her friends that told me they'd been keeping abreast of my progress, I think it is probably just as well.

Wills parents stayed on another night, so I'm tucked up in Gabriel's spare bed tonight.  There really is no getting out of this walk tomorrow I fear!!